I AM - Lesson 15

Welcome back girls! I am trying to keep up! I am looking forward to reading your answers. Here are mine.

1. I think we can all agree most of us find ourselves closer to God in the struggle than without it. How does it affect you knowing that trial is what draws you more intimately in relationship to Your God?

What is strange for me is that I almost long for the trial in order to "feel" closer to God. I am really working on being consistent with my time with God so that regardless of my situation, I am conscious of the presence of my God.

2. Have you ever made a huge mistake but then found yourself in the position for a 'do-over'? Did you make a better decision the second or third or fourth time around? :)

Why is it that we make the same mistake again? You think that we would learn the first time! My sexual sin found me in the same position twice - the choice of what to do with an unplanned pregnancy. I know that most people's are not so dramatic. I so wish that I had not put myself in this situation the first time - but twice! I was feeling like such a fallen believer. I choose abortion the first time. Then I went to counseling to grieve over the death of my unborn child. My heart was broken and I learned so much about the forgiveness of Christ. Along the way I was privileged to find another college student seeking healing and lead her to the throne. Many times our failures bring about such healing in others as well.

When I became pregnant again, I knew what I was not going to choose! This child was going to live, regardless if I was the parent. My daughter was almost placed for adoption, until the Lord moved my now husbands heart and we have been seeing her grow every since. So, when I shout out her achievements in my blog, I am just filled with joy to be a part of the story called her life.

3. Is there a 'generational sin' in your family you have overcome? This can be anything from a lineage of unbelief to issues of many kinds. This may be a private matter. Share if you feel liberty or quietly thank God for His deliverance. If you have not yet been delivered, I pray with all my heart God's Word is giving you courage to ask for help in that area.

I am so excited to answer this question! The Lord has worked mightily in this area of my life. I have read about the "sins of the fathers" being passed down the generations. I am so glad that He plucked me out of that circle of sin and showed me a different way. My grandmother was an alcoholic and so is my mother. I am unsure about the generations before that - so at least two. I could have so easily been a victim of that - poverty, neglect, etc. I was introduced to Christ in 10th grade and finally got it. This has been my guiding force ever since. He has kept me from many failures with alcohol and drugs. I have not come out unscathed, but it could have been so much worse. I am hoping to pass down a legacy of Christ from me on down. Amen!

4. Have you ever been misunderstood? Do you feel unforgiven for past mistakes even though you know God has forgiven you?

I struggled with this for awhile. A couple of years of counseling have helped, but also a supportive husband that shares my beliefs helps me stay centered.

5. Is there a sister you need to extend grace towards in order to be able to 'bless God together'? Do you comprehend how your unforgiveness is hindering her from inhabiting her own Promise? If no, do you recognize a situation within your church body where this may be happening? If so, ask God to raise up a 'Phinehas' (mediator) in this situation. He may just reveal the Phinehas is you. :)

I can't think of any right now, personal or church related. I am sort of isolated - in great need of real live girl friends. I am taking steps to fix that, just feeling stuck.

Thanks for reading.