Thursday, October 12, 2006


Our church has been dong a series on friends the past few weeks. If you want to hear the messages for free - go to our churches website at and either download or listen online. It really has me thinking about whether or not I truly have good friends. A friend that I always read about in books that could finish your sentences and would show up just because.

I have tried to make myself vulnerable. I thought that I had these kind of friends in high school, but because of my mothers drinking and unpredictablility, I never really let anyone in. I hid behind my grades and academic ability. I still keep in contact with those friends - many of them including me on family trips because we never went on any trips as a family. I am hoping that I was a good friend to them in spite of my huge problems.

In college I met a great group of people through Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship. I remember the laughter and how close I felt to God during that time in my life. I still had tons of baggage, but I was able to process that and realize that I still had choices in my life. My friends helped me to see that my past should not determine my future. I don't even know where my best friends from college are - or maybe we weren't as close as I thought we were - or maybe as Pastor Bob says, we were just friends for a season. My leader is now a priest in the Episcopalian Church and from what I have heard living openly homosexual. My other friend use to live in Amarillo Texas with her family - haven't heard from her in ten years. I just wonder what is wrong with me that I can't seem to connect long term. My husband is my best and longest friend that I have ever had. I am truly thankful for that.

Yet, what surprises me is that those people that I thought were fringe friends in college have kept in touch. I could call or visit them if I need to. I continue to seek out that mutual friend - someone that needs me as much as I need them. Someone who has the same interests and faith that I have - so that we can connect on a deeper level. I have planted my life here in Minnesota - so it would be nice to have that kind of friend close by. I keep praying that even with my introverted personality that I can find that soul mate.

God Bless

1 comment:

Cheri said...

Girlfriend - don't try being a military spouse, where you know the most time you'll spend with a friend is three years - if both of you arrived at an assignment at the same time and no one leaves early! It's rough making yourself vulnerable under these circumstances, believe me! But God leads you to the people you need at certain points in your life, I truly believe that. And sometimes He brings them back in to your life later even through an email or phone call or blog, and sometimes He doesn't.

I don't think I'll ever live down the street from you, but I'm just a blog comment, email, or phone call away! (Hey, what's your phone number anyway?)